Hi!
At the end of December I had the habit to write a green ink letter to my collegues with whom i had the most contact during the year and to whom – for this reason – i owe so much thanksgiving that i cannot express. However this year i cannot do so. I am not saying that this war came fully unexpectedly to me, actually i had anticipated it for many years already, but it is one thing to guess something and a very different thing is to see it in its full reality. I don’t want to make a secret of it – for me this was a real shock and i am still trembling from the hit. I know the calming words which i heard many times since 24.02 – this is a local conflict and the politicians will do their best to keep it so. For me these words do not give any relief. On one hand there is no restricted war, all wars are global if anybody is suffering on Earth it’s a shame, a burden to all of us. On the other hand i don’t believe that this war will not escalate. Perhaps not now perhaps we will still have few relatively calm years but the illusion that the history is finished and now we can freely enjoy the fruit of our predesessor’s sacrifice – the illusion in which all of us grew up and explicitely or implicitely all of us believed to a let’s say at least considerable extent – for me is over. It doesn’t mean that our life is finished and what we do is useless from now on. It means that what we do will become much more important and much more decisive than we thought before. It means that we have a much higher level of responsability even in the very small things of our everyday life. It means that all of our acts, all of our words, all of our contacts are precious and we have to watch them as we watch the safety of our eyes. There were several colleaguial parties during the year where i was invited but which i was not able to attend. Not becasue i don’t like the people who were there (actually i love them a lot) but because i am too much occupied with the suffering of the war victims whom i always meet in the help center of Budapest for example, in this state of soul i am not able to dissolve in a party feeling. And i am not able to dissolve either in a xmass celebration and somehow god or the internal order of the existence or fate or the coincidence (you can use any of these words according to your own taste) has arranged to me a chance to spend the xmass eve among the refugees on a place where they stay now while more lucky families will light the candles of their xmass trees in their well heated home and eat the well cooked foods.
Don’t think that i am very depressed and my story will end in a hopeless hole! If someone knows me a little he also knows that i am not made of that sort of wood. I will do all what i can at my working place and also in my private life. I know that it will not be a lot but i know also that it will not be negligible either. All men have big reserves – times will come very soon when we will be obliged to exploit much more from ourselves than we have done until now. But i am pretty sure that we will be able to do so, we will be able to grow and to give right answers to the very new type of the challenges too. I don’t believe in a god who governs in the universe independently from us but i do belive in man who can prove his human commitment in all sorts of situations. And especially i belive in the people with whom i have already some acquaintance. You are all in this group of people – i believe in all of you since how you have behaved to me how you have talked to me how you have helped me gives a very solid base to that belief. Thanks to all of you for this year, thanks for the unestimable amount of support of all forms, thanks for your emotions, thanks for your resonance, thanks for your instinctively attentive reserved approach when i was tired, thanks for your patience, for your tolerance, for your touch. Have a happy new year!
Мирного неба над головою – the peace of heaven be with us!
Gyuri - Дюрі
